


(just let me) adore you.

by eillacat



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, College AU, Drinking, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Cheating, It's just one kiss, Tags Subject to Change, They cheat with each other not on each other, reylo au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:47:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24800278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eillacat/pseuds/eillacat
Summary: Since their freshman year, the friend group had always been the same: Poe, Finn, Ben, Rose and Rey. Fate had put the five-some in the same orientation group when they first arrived on campus and they had all taken to each other very fast. While their group of friends all considered each other best friends, Ben and Rey were… something else.But they've both convinced themselves that they are not good enough for one another, and Ben has been with Kaydel for two years now.With all those emotions bottled up, it's no surprise that everything changes on Rey's 21st birthday.
Relationships: Kaydel Ko Connix/Ben Solo, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Kylo Ren/Ben Solo
Comments: 6
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

***

_now_

She’s flitting around the mess hall like she’s everyone’s best friend. He does his best not to stare, but he can’t help but watch her go from table to table, chatting with what seems to be every single person she comes into contact with. He watches her as she charms the pants off of a group of very broad rugby guys- one of them being Hux, that _asshole_ \- who proceed to watch her as she walks away to the next table. A jealousy burns inside of him that he never knew existed before. He doesn’t think he can stand it- being this close to her and not touching her… not claiming her for his own. But she never really was his now, was she? 

“Ben? Earth to Ben?” Poe’s voice breaks through his thoughts. “What’s going on, man? You’ve been staring off into the distance for like ten minutes straight now.” Poe flashes a smile at Ben and it somewhat brings him back to reality. 

Ben blinks a couple of times and looks at his friend group sitting around him. Rose, Finn, and Poe are all staring at him like he’s crazy. He can’t blame then, he does feel a little crazy right now. Lately, it’s all he feels now that she’s not speaking to him. Ben realizes that he’s been slouching and immediately straightens himself. In order to avert his friends’ confused gazes, he looks back down at his meal and plays with his fork. “So what’s on the docket this weekend, Dameron? I’m sure you’ve got some big plans for us all.” He takes a reluctant bite of his food, and offers his friends a forced smile.

He almost breathes an audible sigh of relief when Poe immediately launches into a list of parties and events that Ben has absolutely no intention of going to. But, if it will distract his friends from the fact that he had been staring at the social butterfly going around the tables, he is more than happy to oblige. It’s not that he is _ashamed_ of his thoughts per se, but he certainly did not want them to know who those thoughts were about. For now, he thought, they don’t know, and he is in the clear. His moment of relief is squandered by a pair of small hands that have suddenly rendered him blind. 

“Guess who?” A soft voice whispers in his ear. He doesn’t have to guess, he knows exactly who is responsible for his temporary blindness. He’d know her high pitched voice anywhere. Suddenly, he feels a pang of guilt and it’s almost enough to make him sick. He swallows the feeling in an attempt to extinguish it. 

“Hmm, could it be… Kaydel?” He wants to roll his eyes at how stupid he sounds. Kaydel has been his girlfriend for almost two years now, and he still can’t believe how absolutely moronic he sounds when he’s trying to appease her. He hears her squeal of glee as she crashes her lips onto his. Somewhere across the table, one of his friends groans while Rose murmurs “Get a room.” 

Kaydel finally lets go of her iron grip on him and attempts to grab the chair next to Ben and bring it closer to him so that she can latch onto his arm. He can hear Finn begin to protest from across the table, “Actually that’s for-“ 

“No, Finn, it’s alright! Kayd can have that seat! It’s fine. I’ll just grab a seat from the table over there.” Ben hadn’t seen her walk up, but she’s now standing in front of their table with a huge grin on her face. Ben felt himself tense, and he felt, for a moment, like he couldn’t breathe when looking at her. Her golden-brown hair was in three buns and she wasn’t wearing any makeup today so her freckles were prominently displayed on her face. She looked… radiant. Ben internally cursed at himself as he stared longingly at the beautiful girl in front of him while his _girlfriend_ was on his arm. 

“Peanut! We were hoping you’d make your rounds over to us. I see you’ve been chatting it up with the rugby players, huh? Hux going to ask you to come cheer him on at the big game this weekend?” Finn teases her mercilessly as she rolls her eyes. Ben felt that jealousy coming up again at the mention of Hux and the rugby team, but he did his best to keep a straight face so Kaydel wouldn’t notice his emotions churning. 

She rolls her eyes and laughs. “Please, Finn. Like I would even think twice about going anywhere outdoors this weekend. It’s supposed to be below freezing, and you know I don’t do well in the cold.” She pulls up a chair next between Poe and Rose and puts her head on Rose’s shoulder. “Besides, I’m sure Poe over here has been making plans for us this weekend.” Poe smiles and begins to open his mouth. Ben internally groans. He’s trying so hard to keep his composure as he listens to Poe, yet again, list the options for them this weekend. Kaydel has finally let go of his arm and is now trying to hold his hand, but he invents new reasons to avoid her touch each time. He can tell that she is pouting from the corner of his eye, but he can’t be bothered at the moment. He’s trying to make eye contact with the girl across the table who hasn’t acknowledged his presence in two months. 

Ben really does like Kaydel. In fact, he thinks that he could really see a future with her (that is, if it wasn’t for _her)_. Kaydel was beautiful and he would like to think that in another world, another time, she would absolutely be the one for him. She always sent him encouraging text messages on test days, made him hot chocolate when it was cold outside, and she made a point of always being there to cheer him on at his intramural basketball games. She was kind hearted and always very thoughtful; she had made him a homemade card for their six month “anniversary” that was still hanging up on his refrigerator in the house he shared with Finn and Poe. He never got angry with her, nor did he have any worry that she would ever cheat on him. Kaydel was the perfect girlfriend, a safe bet, and for that reason, he stayed with her. But, there was something missing. Something that he couldn’t quite put into words, but all he knew was that he didn’t get the same feelings that he did looking at her as he did when _she_ was around. 

A few minutes go by and he has all but tuned out the inane chatter of his friends. Poe and Finn have decided that the best course of action this weekend would be to go to stupid party being held at the rugby team’s house. The First Order, the ridiculous name that the rugby team had chosen, was infamous for throwing parties that either ended up lasting three days, or were broken up by cops within the first 20 minutes. There was no in between. The team captain, Armitage Hux, was Ben’s least favorite person at the school- maybe even the world. Ben had always said it was because Hux was always walking around like he was better than everyone else, but it didn’t help that Hux was constantly looking at _her_ the way that he had earlier. The reminder of this makes the tips of Ben’s ears redden, and he is glad that his hair covers them. 

After another five minutes, Kaydel whispers something about walking her to class. While Ben doesn’t particularly want to leave his friends, he knows just how upset she’ll be if he doesn’t and he will never hear the end of it. He wordlessly nods his head, and the two began to stand up to say their goodbyes. He can see the annoyance in Finn, Poe and Rose’s face as Kaydel says, “Benny is going to walk me to class. It was good seeing you all!” They muttered their responses as Ben and Kaydel turned to leave.

They weren’t even five feet away from the table when he heard a chuckle. He didn’t have to turn around to know who that sound came from. He tenses, suddenly embarrassed. 

“Rey.” He says curtly. There’s a moment before she responds.

“Ben.” He can feel her eyes on his back.

He finally lets Kaydel hold his hand as they walk away.

***   
  
_then_

Since their freshman year, the friend group had always been the same: Poe, Finn, Ben, Rose and Rey. Fate had put the five-some in the same orientation group when they first arrived on campus and they had all taken to each other very fast. When the time came to register for classes that day, they all chose to take the same basic classes together. Ben and Rey had been selected for a special class that was meant to help those who had a special interest in engineering. Professor Kanata’s class had been the setting for the growth of their friendship. Ben and Rey worked on endless projects together, helped each other with the challenging homework, and when the semester came close to an end, they had spent three nights in a row keeping each other awake whilst attempting to finish their research papers. The class had been a challenge to say the least, but worth it. Professor Kanata had called them her best students. 

Ever since the class, the two had formed a special and solid bond. While their group of friends all considered each other best friends, Ben and Rey were… _something else_. The group always acknowledged that Ben and Rey had a dynamic that most of them had never seen replicated in any other duo. Poe and Finn constantly teased Ben about Rey being his soulmate, and Ben always shrugged it off in their presence, but deep down, Ben had always felt that they were kind of right. Not that he would tell _them_ that, those smug bastards, but Rey felt like she was an extension of himself… she was his other half. Not long after they became friends, Ben had somehow fallen in love with Rey, but he was too afraid that she wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings. So, he repressed those feelings and figuratively locked them in a box, buried them in a hole, and threw away the key. He vowed to himself that he would never do anything to lose the friendship and connection that he had found in Rey. 

Quite often, they were each other’s dates to events that neither of them really wanted to go to. Rey was a very welcome presence in his parents’ home. When Rey had confided in him after freshman year that she had never been close to her last foster family, and that’s why she hadn’t gone home to celebrate the holidays with them,Ben had taken it upon himself to make sure that she never spent the holidays alone again.Rey had spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with his family for the last two years. More often than he would like to admit, Ben’s parents asked when the hell the two of them were going to get together. Ben had to tell them repeatedly that they were _just friends_. 

Towards the middle of their sophomore year, Ben began to date Kaydel. She had been his partner in chemistry, and one night, she admitted to having a crush on him.Ben had been taken aback- no girl had ever liked him before to his knowledge- and she had kissed him. He had asked her on a date, and the rest was history. She was supportive and kind, and just the type of girl he thought that he needed. Ben had introduced Kaydel to Rey first, making sure that she approved before introducing her to the rest of the group. When they first met, Rey and Kaydel had gotten along great, and Ben was relieved to find that nothing changed between him and Rey. Ben introduced him to his other best friends, and initially, Kaydel had fit right in. That is, until his friend group started to get annoyed with how _attached_ Kaydel was to Ben. Rose called it possessive, Finn and Poe called it obsessive, and Rey told them all to leave him alone and let him be happy. 

Then, one night at the end of their junior year, something changed between Ben and Rey. Rey was the last of the friend group to turn 21, so the boys decided to throw a party at their house in order to celebrate her. While they had invited at least 100 people, Ben was surprised to see so many people had actually shown up. Normally, when they invited this many people, they typically expected half to actually show. It went to show how much people loved Rey at their school. Ben was throwing back drinks, mainly because Kaydel wasn’t able to come that night and for the first time in forever, he could drink without feeling judged. Ben kept a close eye on Rey and Rose all night, making sure that none of the idiots that were at the party got too handsy with them without their consent. 

Once the party died down, Rose and Rey decided to stay the night at the boys’ house instead of making the trek back to their apartment. This was something that the two girls did often, and the boys had cleared out the room that had served as an office in order to make a room for them to stay in whenever they needed to. When it was just the five of them, Rose decided it was time for them to play a game of Truth of Dare.

“C’mon guys, isn’t this a bit juvenile?” Ben had asked, slurring his words just a little. Maybe he was a little bit more drunk than he had initially thought. 

“Says the old man of the group!” Finn laughed, patting his friend on the back. “It’s okay, Ben, we won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

They played the game for what seemed like hours. There were some easy truths, like “Who was your first?” and “If you had to choose any professor to fuck, who would it be?” There were some scandalous dares, like when Finn dared Poe to do a strip tease for the whole group (something Poe was more than happy to do) and when Rey dared Rose to send her crush a nude (Ben could have sworn that he had heard Finn’s phone go off when she sent it, but it could have also just been a coincidence). The pièce de resistance came when Poe dared Ben and Rey to play a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven. Ben had protested- the closet in question was absolutely way too small for both him and Rey to fit in, and he didn’t want to test whether or not he was claustrophobic. Of course, none of his friends took his protests seriously, and egged him on. Sometimes, he thought, his friends really just adored chaos. When his eyes finally met Rey’s across the circle, she smiled at him, and he submitted to his friends’ dare. 

The two friends entered the small closet together. Ben was right- it was going to be incredibly cramped for the next seven minutes. Ben barely fit, being over six feet tall with broad shoulders, but somehow, Rey squeezed in ever so neatly against his chest. Once they were settled in, Poe had closed the door with a faint, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” For the first three minutes, the two laughed about how awkward the situation was and how Ben wasn’t even sure how he was able to fit in Poe’s tiny closet. When the silence finally overcame them, something else did, too.

Ben had been drunk that night, but he would never forget the way that Rey had looked in that moment, with only the light from her phone illuminating her face. Had she always had those freckles? Had she always been this beautiful? Something deep inside of him told him that yes, she had always looked this way. The box that he had put his feelings in was beginning to resurface, and he did his best to push them back down. He couldn’t have those springing up on him in this tiny ass closet. Not with her pressed up against him like this. Rey had the look in her eyes that she always did when she was drunk. They were sparkling, he swore it, but there was something else there that seemed almost a little bit… mischievous. 

Then, all of a sudden, she was closer to his face than she had been a previous moment before, and her lips were on his. She was kissing him. Rey Johnson was kissing _him_. He closed his eyes to savor the moment, almost believing it was a dream. But then reality struck ( _Kaydel_ ) and his eyes snapped open and he tried to put as much distance between them as possible. “Rey…” He said quietly. She silenced him by pressing another soft kiss to his lips. She pulled back slowly and did her best to look him in the eyes. He could feel her heart beating out of her chest and he imagined his was no better off. 

“Ben… I know that I’m drunk, and I know that you’re drunk. We shouldn’t have done that. You’re my best friend, and… I just didn’t know what it would feel like if I kissed you. I had to know… y’know, at least once. Okay, I guess twice.” She laughed a little nervously to herself, “The point is, I know that you’re with Kayd. I know that that was selfish and stupid, but it’s my birthday and I’m drunk and no one’s watching… I just had to know. I’m so sorry.”

His thoughts ran wild, pondering her bold declaration for the better part of the next four minutes as they stared at each other silently. Of course Ben had always wanted this- Rey was his dream girl. But he had turned away that dream a long time ago when he thought it was unattainable. But now, here she was. She had kissed him, and he didn’t know how to bury those feelings any longer. But he couldn’t do that to Kaydel. _Oh, fuck. Kaydel._ What was he going to do?He couldn’t possibly go back to her now. Not after this. Not after— 

His thoughts were interrupted by three loud knocks on the other side of the door, followed by Poe’s voice, “Your seven minutes is up, kids. Didn’t hear a whole lot of talking going on.” Ben could hear Poe’s laughter grow further from the door. Ben felt Rey sigh into his chest, and it was at that moment that he realized that he was holding her. He looked down at his beautiful best friend, and contemplated for a moment what they were going to do. How would this end? Was this a beginning of something, or the end of their friendship?

It was almost as if she could read his mind when he heard her say, “So, Ben Solo, what are we going to do now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I have to admit, I've never been more nervous to post a story in my entire life. I assume it's because there's so many great writers out there for Reylo and those stories are just magnificent. I wasn't really sure there was anything I could add. For that reason, I've been sitting on this story for about four months now.
> 
> But, here it is. Hope you enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

***

_now_

Rey really fucking hates knowing so many damn people at this school. If she could have it her way, she would honestly just have her group of friends and just be invisible to the rest of the world. What’s more, she really hates the fact that all the people who know her seem to take lunch at the same damn time. The mess hall is teeming with groups who all seem to want to talk to her, and she obliges, but only because she can feel him watching her. 

Ben Solo had been her absolute BEST friend before it had all gone to shit, and now she lived for the moments that she knew that he would be watching her. She reveled in the fact that she could feel his jealousy from across the room when she stopped to talk to Hux and all of the other rugby douchebags. She didn’t even really have anything to say to them, but she knew that just standing there cut him to the core. As she walked away from them, she smiled at the fact that she could practically hear him scowling.

She was talking to the Jess and Snap from her chemistry class when she heard a high pitched voice from across the room, shortly met with a low, baritone one. She didn’t have to look to see who they belonged to. She’d know those voices anywhere. She looked over to the table where her group of friends was sitting. Her eyes met Poe’s, who then proceeded to roll them, and she laughed as she watched Rose’s mouth forms the words, “Get a room.” That was her cue. 

“I’ll see you guys in class later!” She waved goodbye to her two classmates and sauntered over to the table where her three (four?) best friends were sitting. She protested Finn’s protest when Kaydel moved to take her seat, and Rey seamlessly grabbed a chair from a neighboring table and plopped down between Poe and Rose. She nuzzled into Rose’s shoulder as she listened diligently to Poe tell her about all the events she would never show up to that were happening this weekend. All the while, she could feel him staring. Trying to make eye contact. Anything. But she wouldn’t- well, couldn’t- give it to him. He was with Kaydel. He _loved_ her, whatever that meant. 

***

_then_

Rey can distinctly remember kissing Ben for the first time like it was yesterday. Though she had been drunker than she had ever been in her entire life, there was a sense of clarity that had fallen upon her that night. Ben had looked so damn good— his hair was tousled perfectly in a way that couldn’t have been anything but natural, and he had worn a black sweater (even though it was 85 degrees outside, but that was just like Ben Solo) that had complimented his chest so well. His lips had been a perfect shade of pink. He had looked, as always, like a dark prince. She absolutely loved that about him. 

The first time Rey had seen Ben Solo was when he walked into the room during the seminar portion of their orientation, and her heart had swelled when she realized that he was in the same group with her. Rey had had a crush on him from the moment he shot her a lopsided grin and said hello, but she had always convinced herself to never act on it. He was her best friend for Maker’s sake, and he had never showed any interest in her. Since freshmen year, she had been constantly trying to impress him, but she could never be sure if it was working. Likewise, she had tried to make him jealous with a parade of guys that she had never actually followed through with. None of them seemed to phase him. Whenever she would introduce them to the group, she would watch his face intently, but he never showed any sort of emotion other than indifference. When she would take the boys back to her apartment, she would let them down easy, and they would leave without another word to her. She tried over and over again, hoping that maybe this one would be the one to make him jealous, but none of it had ever worked. 

When he started dating little miss Kaydel Ko Connix in the middle of their sophomore year, Rey absolutely lost her shit. Ben had introduced Kaydel to her first, as if wanting to get her approval. Rey wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn’t her, but meeting Kaydel and half-heartedly agreeing that she would make a great addition to the group felt sort of like a knife to the heart. She spent three days crying in her bedroom without leaving, under the pretense that she was sick with the flu. One night, Rose walked into the apartment to hear Rey crying a little louder than normal, and that was the night that Rose found out that Rey was madly in love with Ben. Rose had offered words of reassurance. “Honestly Rey, give it time. Poe, Finn, and I always talk about how perfect you guys are for each other. Maybe it will just take some time for him to see it, too.”

So Rey had given him time. Almost a year, in fact. But he just seemed to fall in deeper with the girl, and somehow, that made Rey fall deeper in love with him. She watched him treat Kaydel with respect, kindness, and love. Rey stayed strong and did her best to ignore it most of the time, but there were days where he would smile at her and she would feel helpless. Sometimes (often) she would end up crying herself to sleep on those days. Rey was convinced that Ben was her soulmate, in every sense of the word. But Ben was oblivious, or maybe, Ben knew better. 

On her birthday, Rey had no plans for kissing Ben. In fact, she had figured that Kaydel would have been around to thwart any secret glances Rey might want to take. But Kaydel hadn't bothered to show up that night. Ben had told her something about her having a lacrosse game in the morning, but Rey couldn't have been more elated. She was more than excited to have a night alone with her four best friends, without Kaydel around. 

Rey wasn’t sure who suggested the game of Truth or Dare, but her sneaking suspicion is always Rose. Rose always loved bringing the game up at parties. She insisted that it always revealed everyone’s true feelings. “Drunk words and actions are sober thoughts and plans!” She never understood Rose’s logic behind this, especially when she suggested they play it with just the five of them. The group told each other everything. Well… almost everything, she supposed. But her feelings for Ben weren’t meant to be broadcasted; she didn’t want anything to change.

Reluctantly, Rey agreed to play. She trusted Rose enough not to put her in any compromising positions, but she couldn’t say the same about Finn and Poe. She wasn’t sure what they did or didn’t know, and part of her feared that they would ask her for a truth she wasn’t quite ready to tell. She pretended to watch as Poe did a strip tease for the group, laughing along with them as she subtly kept her eyes on Ben. His smile was just so beautiful, and his laugh was infectious. She couldn’t imagine living a life without that smile in it. He could make any girl melt. Poe must have noticed that Rey wasn’t watching him throughout the striptease though, because as soon as he finished his dance, he turned to her. “Rey, truth or dare?”

Rey and Ben decided that Rey’s phone would keep the time as they sure as hell didn’t trust Poe to be truthful about how long they had been in there. The first three minutes are comfortable, even with the lack of space between them in Poe’s tiny closet. They are laughing with one another, and for a moment, there is no tension. Then, it hits her like a ton of bricks. She is in a confined space with Ben, the man that she has wanted for so long, and suddenly, there is a burning desire to just… kiss him. And why shouldn’t she? It was her birthday, after all. Ben was in close proximity, she was drunk, and she could easily blame it on both of those factors. She could easily say the alcohol got to her head and—

Damn. Kaydel. She thinks to herself. Could she really do that to another girl? To sweet, innocent Kaydel? The girl had a lot of annoying qualities, but she nowhere near deserved having someone cheat on her. No one ever does. 

In that moment, Rey realizes how silent it is in the closet. It barely sounds like he’s breathing, and for a second, she feels like she’s not either. She looks up at him to find that he’s already looking down at her. He is so fucking beautiful it almost pains her to stare directly at him. His dark features are illuminated by the small glow from her phone keeping time. She could easily just… close the small distance between them and—

In a moment of courage, she made a decision. She had to know what it felt like to kiss Ben Solo. She closed the space between them and pressed her lips to his. She’s lost for a moment, feeling like this is all a dream. There’s no possible way that she was actually kissing Ben. No way. She had fantasized about this for years. The kiss is gentle, almost like it was asking a question that was begging to be answered. 

But then she feels him pull away, and her world comes crashing down. It had been real, and he was rejecting her. This was exactly the heartache that she wanted to avoid. “Rey…” she hears him say. She can’t bear to hear him say anything else, so she presses another soft, quick kiss to his lips, trying to come up with something to say after she inevitably pulls back from him. She does her best to look him in the eyes without faltering or sounding upset. She takes a deep breath and tries to regain her composure.

“Ben… I know that I’m drunk, and I know that you’re drunk. We shouldn’t have done that. You’re my best friend, and… I just didn’t know what it would feel like if I kissed you. I had to know… y’know, at least once. Okay, I guess twice.” Her heart is refusing to stop pounding out of her chest and she swears that he can hear it, “The point is, I know that you’re with Kayd. I know that that was selfish and stupid, but it’s my birthday and I’m drunk and no one’s watching… I just had to know. I’m so sorry.”

There was a very loud silence. They stood there staring at each other for what felt like an eternity. Ben didn’t move. He didn’t speak. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but she knew that she was feeling sick to her stomach. Time moved so slowly, and she thought that they would never get out of there, but then she heard three loud knocks at the door. “Your seven minutes is up, kids. Didn’t hear a whole lot of talking going on.” That smug son of a bitch. He knew this would happen, didn’t he? Poe, Finn and Rose all thought they were so smart trying to get the two of them alone together. She listened as Poe’s laughter faded into the other room. 

She hadn’t noticed until Poe was in the other room, but Ben’s arms had wrapped around her and pulled her into his chest. Instantly, she felt… warm and safe. He smelled like fresh laundry and a little bit of tequila. She sighed into his chest, thoughts spinning around her head. What had she been thinking? What was he thinking now? She can feel his eyes on her as he looks down. She felt a sense of relief that he hasn’t pulled away yet, but she had one question that she really needed answered: “So, Ben Solo, what are we going to do now?”

***

_now_

Rey is brought back to reality when she hears the sound of chairs moving. Ben and Kaydel had gotten up from their seats. Kaydel is saying goodbye, saying something about how, “Benny is going to walk me to class.” The rest of the table mutters their goodbyes, but Rey just offers a half-hearted smile. Then, it hits her. Kaydel called him Benny and all of a sudden, it takes everything in her to repress a loud laugh. She is lucky that it comes out only as a slight chuckle. Benny sounds so innocent and so childish, two things that Ben Solo was most definitely not. She finally brings her gaze up to look on as he walks away. His back is to her now, walking away with Kaydel by his side.

“Rey.” She hears his curt voice as he walks away. He sounds upset with her. Did her chuckling at Kaydel’s choice of nickname make him uneasy? 

She waits a moment, deciding whether or not she should even dignify his annoyance with a response. “Ben.” She shouldn’t care. He’s the one that put them in this position.

She feels sick to her stomach as she watches him grab for Kaydel’s hand as he walks away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for such a positive response! I have most of this written but I am still making edits here and there. A lot of this will be flipping back and forth between Rey and Ben's points of view, but for the most part it won't be like this where they're re-hashing the same events. 
> 
> I hope you all have a great week, and stay safe!


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